Ascent Resources (LON: AST) Yesterday plunged the knife yet again into their own shareholders via a huge discounted placing raising a piss poor £750,000. The last placing they tried was with Primary Bid ‘in the bolloxs‘ which failed to flog the full allotment, of yet again, hugely discounted shares hence why the residual shares that Primary Bid couldn’t sell were off-loaded yesterday to yet more so called ‘Institutional’ investors. This is a bare-faced lie.
There are no ‘Institutions’ investing in Ascent. Just as in the Henderson Global, Darwin Strategic, Lombard days of chicanery, so called Institutional Investors. And we all know exactly where these Institutions are right now. Gone, vamoosh, scarpered with the loot after selling off all their heavily discounted shares leaving you the mug punters holding the CONfetti.
Gobshite Taking Cash To Ramp
Ascent has now hit rock bottom and is having to use ‘bottom feeder’ bucket shop finance. The new improved ‘Institutional Investors’ are in actual fact a small group of well known ‘Vulture’, one man band corporate flippers. Who will be ramping to fook on twitter, Total Market Shite, ‘Gone for a Burton’ and various BB threads under anonymous names. My sources tell me that one of the flippers is planning to flip out every time he’s showing a 15%-20% gain. I could name that individual but it would compromise a source. But he’s a well known corporate shyster who works in cahoots with twitter cowboys and is a chum of the under investigation First Equity Broker Mr Miles ‘Vulture’ McNulty who recently ‘dearly departed’ from twitter due to said investigation….
Ascent are embroiled in a costly legal dispute with the Slovenian Government, have piss poor deteriorating production that needs several million in capex spunking away every year on top of huge corporate overheads. The business isn’t viable. Come the Ascent Resources AGM, the Articles Of Association will be changed to allow Hutchinson to issue an unfettered amount of shares below ‘par value’. This is going to result in massive, and I mean massive dilution with a consolidation of shares in issue. Funnily enough round about the time ALL the corporate flippers will have sold all their discounted stock back to the mug punters. If you hold this stock for any length of time you are going to be wiped out. The Board have a history of not giving a flying fook about their shareholders. It’s all about keeping the lights on via whatever finance they can get.
New Improved ‘Institutional Investors’
Now we all know that CEO Colin Hutchinson, was left holding the entrails of the AST corpse after Clive Carver & Co jumped the sinking ship, (pockets filled with pay & expenses leaving him to wind down the company) has to raise money to survive otherwise it’s lights off and good night Vienna but when CEOs deliberately masquerade Corporate flippers as ‘Institutional Investors’ knowing full well that they will deliberately pump & dump to the detriment of genuine long suffering share-holders then it is time for shareholders to sell up and move on, particularly when the fundamentals are as shocking as Ascents. The next placing in Ascent Resources is already being planned by their newly installed joint broker SP Angel it will come post AGM. Of course they’ll now deny it till blue in the face and they’ll try to drag it out for as long as they can. But my source is within SP Angel and has confirmed that they were taken on specifically to assist in another cash raise post AGM. So expect more horse-shit RNS’s to artificially raise the SP.
I wont go into the cash raised pre Jan’ 2017. Otherwise I’d be here all day! Suffice it to say that AST has spunked away circa £40,000,000 pre 2017. Since January 2017 Ascent resources has raised £14,235,271. 2017 & 2018 production generated circa £2M in revenue. Production has steadily fallen. Last figure was circa £35K for March 2019. Down from an initial high of circa £200k per month.
Failure
Ascent resources has basically spent £7,000,000 per year to generate circa £1M. As a business that is unsustainable. Which is why Hutchinson is now grabbing low level bottom feeder finance. The Petisovci gas field is in terminal decline. It needs, and will always need, expensive workovers to deliver small gas. The Capex by far out-stretches the revenues generated which is why during the Strategic Review no fooker would touch it. It’s production will never get into the black. In what business would you invest £7,000,000 per year to make £1M? The talk of ‘Workovers’ is very apt here. It’s you the AST shareholders who are and will continue to be worked-over by Ascent Resources. Production has all but ground to a halt and the cash-burn will have to increase. Enter the latest batch of corporate shyster finance.
Talk of a new direction and new assets is a ‘Jackanory’, a white elephant. There’s no money for new assets. It’s a fig leaf to lessen the disaster that is the Petisovci field and the continual rape of UK Investors. This is only going one of two ways and that is administration/delisting or another team comes in and wipes out (again) share holders while heralding a new dawn…. We’ve all seen it many, many times. It never ends well.
What an absolute shocker of an RNS released today at 12:30pm by the biggest load of bullshitters that inhabit the AIM space. So it’s come down to this, after literally hundreds of millions of pounds in placings, warrants, options, consultancy fees, director fees & good knows what else, the utter shameless shysters, who’ve pocketed tens of millions of pounds, at the very least, announce that the “Billions I tell you billions of barrels of oil in the Weald Basin” is net to United Kingdom Oil & Gas (LON: UKOG) 60 bopd, on a good day.
And as one last fraudulent ‘Hurrah’ UKOG are pretending that it’s actually 362 bopd. But further down in the ‘Tissue of lies’ (RNS), those who have more than a 10 second attention span & actually read verbatim RNS’s, learn that the 362 bopd is an analysis based on data potential.
HH Portland never flowed at 362 that number is theoretical analysis from Xodus, you’ll remember them as the chaps who basically said that Angus Energy (LON: ANGS) only just made it over the line to IPO with Lidsey/Brockham. And we all know the actual flow-rates currently coming out of Lidsey/Brockham. Zippo…. The actual flow rate from Horse Hill Portland was 140-160bopd! UKOG own 46%, so do the maths on real flow rates not fantasy ones. 60 bopd! That’s it folks….. Of course those who took their time to correctly research the Weald Basin by reading what the British Geological Survey based their opinions on would know that in the whole of the Weald Basin there’s approx’ 11 million barrels of oil recoverable.
But not to worry as UKOG have now employed yet another Broker. Come on down Novum the new Broker and you all know what’s coming next? Fill in the blanks. P_A_I_G.
There really are some real dumb fookers out there who swallowed, hook, line and sinker the whole Billions of barrels falsehoods. Not to worry the likes of David Lenigas made a fortune selling into the orchestrated rises. You lot are, as my sources, tell me what the shysters refer to as the ‘Meat in their liquidty sandwich’
Have a nice day…. 60bopd. I just can’t stop laughing….
Some deluded, befuddled investors and traders are currently full of ‘Great Expectations’ on Mayan Energy (AIM: MYN) well let me educate those out there who are running with the hounds on this one, particularly my friend Richard Jennings, a good guy is Ritchie, whose company Align Research have over the last year or so really made a name for themselves as purveyors of honest opinion based on facts. That’s because Align try to ‘Align’ their interests with that of share-holders and usually, in the past have covered some decent listed companies.
I’ve used their research to great effect but sadly I believe their standards are now being lowered by covering companies of let’s say ‘dubious’ history. If you roll around with dogs then you get fleas and I’d urge Align Research to cease coverage on companies that have a history of telling ‘Tom Peppers’. Now I know why the Dogs of AIM are all rushing to Align Research. It’s because they have a good name as responsible analysts. Ergo the Dogs want their blessing to give them the semblance of respectability and professionalism. Basically so they can shaft investors. Fortunately I can write it as it is and am not enslaved by the corporate world. So you get it as it is. The truth no matter how unpalatable gets told by ‘Yours Truly’.
Lifestyle companies now being covered by Align Research, such as Red Rock Resources (AIM: RRR) run by that well-known Charlatan Andrew ‘Calamity’ Bell, the Dud, PowerHouse Resources (AIM: PHE) and the one I’m currently going to chronologically dissect, Mayan Energy, formerly trading as Northcote Energy and also Everest Energy, are beginning to surface. I changed my name once these fookers have had three….
Now I won’t go into Everest Energy. Other than to say Charlie Woods has been at it from the beginning. I’ll go straight from the Northcote 1st day of dealings run through their ‘Jackanory’ of company changing assets that always end up in the shitter and point out the increase in shares and the many placings. Then we’ll get to grips with the ‘Mayan’ assets, massive share dilution, placings, assets and CONsolidation and the new improved ‘assets’ while stating the fundamental cash position of thrice named Mayan….
DAY ONE NORTHCOTE
Northcote was launched with a $10,000,000 share purchase agreement (SPA) and a £1,000,000 placing. Their asset was The Horizon Project which produced 26.4 boe/d. Northcote had 866,904,578 shares in issue. Within 12 weeks they had placed yet again for £1,500,000, shares now in issue 991,412,716 assets coming in were the OKE Acquisition, the Eagle Option and the Bird Creek Project oil production was circa 48boepd. Yet again within 3-4 weeks they placed again £663,922, shares in issue 1,066,627,375 another asset Matthis. Oil production circa 100boepd. 5 Months down the line they place again £1,750,000, shares in issue 1,150,503,626, another asset South Weslaco.
By the time we get to Feb’ 2014 there’s now 1,238,066,657 shares in issue via options/assets paid for in stock and the initial issue of £1,200,000 zero coupon secured loan notes from vulture financiers Darwin Strategic, the Cleveland asset is renamed Zinc Ranch. 97.6 BOPD and 560.2 MCF/D net to Northcote. We get to 7am on the 12th Feb’ 2015 a loan note conversion is announced £50,000 total loan notes so far £250,000 push the shares in issue to 1,412,731,660, Shoats Creek, MXO deal etc. We then fast forward 1 minute, yes 60 seconds and Northcote RNS a placing for £1,558,000 further ballooning shares in issue to 3,380,021,399. In comes the acquisition of NAP USA. Then the fire sale of assets begins. Now are you getting the picture here? By the 20th of April 2015 the shares in issue stand at 4,748,137,883.
Now again I could go on and on but I suspect I’ll have to fast forward before I kill you with the litany of bullshit placings, stripper well assets and tie ups with such ‘illustrious’partners as Andalas Energy, MXO, Red Rock Resources and further asset sales, decreasing oil production, placings and cash rinsing that ended up with over ten billion FOOKING shares in issue (10,098,253,604) just before they changed the name to Mayan and started a rinse repeat operation.
FAST EDDIE ‘PARACHUTES’ IN
The 1st ‘Fast Eddie’ placing and a 400-1 consolidation!!! After fleecing tens of millions of pounds from UK Investors! Losses of circa $20,000,000, liabilities of approx. $3,500,000 with a ‘thumping’ $91k in cash! Doesn’t exactly instil confidence does it guys? ‘Fast Eddie’ parachutes in……
Nevertheless, let’s carry on because believe me it’s a right ‘Carry on’ and it only gets worse! The parachuting in of Eddie Gonzalez or as I call him ‘Fast Eddie!’ on 1st Sept’ 2016. ‘Fast Eddie’, didn’t waste any time getting to grips with the newly named Mayan Energy he quickly placed £550,000 and the shares in issue skied to (I kid you not) 13, 898,253,603 (Thirteen Billion, Eight Hundred and Ninety Eight Million, Two Hundred and Fifty Three Thousand, Six Hundred and Three). Of course, ‘Fast Eddie’ did exactly what the previous failed shysters did and issued himself a shitload of options: 780,000,000 (5.7% of the new improved rinse repeat Mayan) at 0.015 of a new shiny penny.
Within weeks ‘Fast Eddie’ was at the placing bolloxs yet again. This time a placing for £1,250,000. Shares now in issue a staggering 21,144,630,415 (Twenty One Billion, One Hundred and Forty Four Million, Six Hundred and Thirty Thousand, Four Hundred and Fifteen shares…..) I wont bother going into the warrant packages for the other corporate shysters.
But wait I’m not done yet!
‘Fast Eddie’ Not as ‘Fast’ as BMD I see right through you!!!
In March 2017 some 7 months since the new improved CEO took the helm, ‘Fast Eddie’ is at the Placing bollox yet again! This time it’s a 12,000,000,000 (Twelve Billion) £600,000 placing. Shares now in issue 33,144,630,415, (Thirty-Three Billion, One Hundred and Forty Four Million, Six Hundred and Thirty Thousand, Four Hundred and Fifteen). Oil production 20bopd!
CONsolidation
30 Days later we get a 400-1 share CONsolidation. The stock clock is reset and ‘Fast Eddie’ is rinse repeat raring to go… 82,861,576 shares now in issue. Read on it’s hilarious. 8 Weeks later ‘Fast Eddie’ places yet again! This time it’s 255,833,333 raising £587,500 shares now in issue 338,694,909 or to put that into old shares 135,477,963,600 (One Hundred and Thirty-Five Billion, Four Hundred and Seventy-Seven Million, Nine Hundred and Sixty Three Thousand, Six Hundred) and again I want bore you with the usual corporate shyster warrant packages or the bullshit nonsense about super dooper assets bought for peanuts….
This just gets better, 10 weeks after the above ‘Fast Eddie’ (I shit you not) places again! This time it’s another 287,000,000 shares raising £861,000 taking the shares in issue to… Wait for it … Wait for it… 604,156,447 or to give you the figure pre-CONsolidation 241,662,578,800 (Two Hundred and Forty-One Billion, Six Hundred and Sixty Two Million, Five Hundred and Seventy Eight Thousand, Eight Hundred) Usual corporate warrants for the corporate rats.
Now the absolute killer here if the above wasn’t enough to scare the living daylights out of you, is this!!! On the 17th November 2017 ‘Fast Eddie’ is at it yet a fooking gain. He raises £2,000,000 via the issue of 432,692,304 Placing, Settlement and Adviser and Deloro Investment Shares with the usual corporate shyster warrants. Mayan’s issued share capital is now back over 1 Billion!!! It’s 1,166,335,931 to put that into the old shares 466,534,372,400 (Four Hundred and Sixty-Six Billion, Five Hundred and Thirty-Four Million, Three Hundred and Seventy Two Thousand, Four Hundred). Give or take the odd share….
So, Dear Align Research you’ll have to forgive me for not being a believer in this POS, your research And ‘Fast Eddie….’ Who as you know, has been covertly operating on twitter via a private twitter group ramping and briefing well-known pump and dumpers in that group, exhorting them to buy/hold the stock while hinting of fantastic news and getting said P&Ders to retweet his tweets and sing the Mayan song to all and sundry.
ASPHALT RIDGE The Latest ‘JACKANORY’
So, I ask again just where is the cash coming from to progress Asphalt Ridge? Bearing in mind that $1,005,000 has already gone from the November 2017 £2 million placing while Mayans PLC costs and capex for their ‘other’ shite onshore USA assets, such as Zinc Ranch, which the company are actively trying to flog as I type, for a few hundred thousand dollars. Pray do tell me? Let me answer that Vulture Finance/Placing.
I’ll remind investors of the hastily formed Deloro company deal that gives Mayan and ‘Fast Eddie’ access to 8.3% of a potential 49% of Petroteqs’ Ashphalt Ridge, which would be owned by Deloro, not Mayan Energy! Mayans’ 8.3% is subject to the investment of $10,000,000 in staged payments by Deloro to Petroteq. Money Deloro and Mayan simply do not have, that is a fact.
The Asphalt Ridge project is being paid in the form of convertible loan notes, payable as follows: As announced months ago 16th November 2017.
Tranche 1 of US$2.5million due immediately to fund completion of plant upgrades and start-up of initial production; Tranche 2 of US$3.5million due once plant for more than 30 days is operating at greater than 1,000 bopd, and Tranche 3 of US$3.95million due on or before by 1 June 2018.
We know that Tranche 1 was paid in November 2017. Deloro, by their own hand, admit that they had $2.900,000 in cash and Mayan shares. $2,500,000 of that cash has gone. It went last year in November. $3,500,000 is now outstanding for Tranche 2. Where is that money coming from? Then there’s Tranche 3 $3,950,000 where is that money coming from? Mayans’ investment if they actually achieve 1,000 bopd and providing they pay all the $10,000,000 is 83 bopd? No it’s 8.3% of Deloros’ 49% which is circa 40bopd. Laughable!
RAMPING
Let me tell you why ‘Fast Eddie’ is ramping to fook on twitter and in private twitter chat groups. He’s trying to keep the Mayan SP up so that Deloro can dump (sell) the stock HE gave them as part of the Asphalt Ridge deal! 64,102,564 shares and to get yet another Placing away in the not too distant future. It’s an orchestrated, corporate, shyster, deliberate case of wholesale market manipulation.
The Mayan CEO Eddie Gonzalez ‘Fast Eddie’ has issued in old shares after only 16 months in the job and countless asset twists and turns Four Hundred and Fifty Five BILLION shares! Placings aplenty and there’s another one being lined up.
Now hopefully you will all understand my rather cynical view of ‘Fast Eddie’ and his Board, who’ve tried to use the good reputation of Align Research to HOODWINK the market! I respect Richard Jennings he’s one of a few good guys out there, but on this take heed: get yourself and your company as far away from this POS as is humanly possible. Otherwise your reputation and credibility will be damaged.
As for ‘Fast Eddie’ and Charlie woods, you’ll remember him he’s been ‘at it’ since day one, I’d expect that the thousands of UK Investors who’ve been rinsed out of tens of millions of pounds would like to ‘metaphorically’ take out, shoot and chop the Mayan board of shysters into Four Hundred and Sixty-Six Billion, Five Hundred and Thirty-Four Million, Three Hundred and Seventy Two Thousand and Four Hundred pieces of the rotten meat they are, then feed them to the fishes……
Today is a wake up call for all the Mug punters who are currently ramping that well-known POS Nostra Terra Oil & Gas (LON: NTOG). Run by that well-known shyster the shorting CEO and proven scumbag Matt Lofgran. Who by the way pays the likes of Druggie boy Mr Matty Ben(t) Turney share-holder cash to write their RNS’s etc. Apparently they’ve struck oil at their Permian basin twin well drill……. Turney and his CONpadres have been bigging up the oil deliberately mis-leading the gullible and naive.
Now a word of caution to those who’re running with this ‘Jackanory’. Here’s a question that some seem to avoid answering. Just what do you get for $40,000 in the US onshore oil and gas market? Well here’s the answer. Stripper wells. Yes you get 53% of a stripper well field.
Now anyone who thinks that a well that has basically already been drilled by previous operators who decided to offload 53% of their field for $40K is a life changing gusher is in for a big kick in the teeth.
Ramping Bullshitter Lofgran!
The rule of thumb in the O&G space is thus; when a company hits a gusher they get the news out immediately. Because it is deemed by their Nomad, to be material and market sensitive. When as we’ve seen many times over many years, Such as #Angus Energy, #Range Resources, #UKOG #Mosman etc. A company doesn’t release the ‘Scores on the doors’ they prevaricate then that’s because the delay is caused ‘because’ the numbers are ‘Piss Poor’. When you’re involved with ‘PissPoor’ delays are caused by ‘artificial lift’ processes, pump jacks (Nodding Donkey) having to slurp up as much of the stripper well dregs as possible.
The numbers on previous production are circa 3.5bopd yes an earth shattering three and a half barrels of oil per day from the whole of the lease. So let’s just forward think this even at 100bopd #Shyster Lofgran get’s 53bopd which sharply declines. But in reality the company are telling people 25-35 bopd so 53% of 25-35bopd is what? Yes exactly not very much. Which is exactly what one gets for $40K in the good old USA!
Now me English isn’t up too much so the bestestt fracking way to read this is with An Australian Accent. Pretend you’re me!!!
Strewth mate!!! I’ve only gone and fell on me feet yet again! I’ve fracking found Gold in Pilbara, Australia! Fracking God’s truth, scouts honour dib dib dub…. I’ll tell ya the story in a few minutes but first let me have a ‘Yabber‘.
Global World Leading CEO! ‘LuckyLeni’
Now I didn’t get where I ‘AIM’ today by talking ‘Cobblers’ or ramping stocks as I flog me shares and fool the numbskulls who’ve got ‘Kangaroos loose in the top paddock’ with tall tales…. I’m a World Glooobal CEO. Famous and responsible for the worlds biggest onshore oil discovery at HorseyHill in the Weald basin (UKOG) I was the Geezer who discovered the Gusher and gushed so much that the ‘Pomme’ AIM regulation team recommended me for a Knighthood-wink, after all I’m the CEO who put the whole shebang together! Yep’ folks this is gonna supply you Pommes with enough oil for the next 30 years…. In fact it’s 4% of ya energy needs for decades. This is gonna get me an invite to a garden party at Buckingham Palace! Now not only that but I’ve discovered one of the biggest lithium finds in the whole of the world with not one but two of me Global Players (BAC) (REM). If I don’t get a Knighthood-wink from the Pommes then I’ll be ‘fracking’ writing to that ‘Sheila’ Prime Minister of yours… I’m keeping ‘Stum’ at the moment as the ‘Greenies‘ are all over me ‘Clacker’ mooching at me share and warrant sells. I’ve not sold a ‘Bloody’ single share and that’s the Fracking ‘Strewth’….. I’ve got plenty of ‘Moolah’.
Two ‘Lucky’ Barrrstards…
Was only saying the other evening to me ‘Muckkas‘ over at Optiva, who’re trialing my medical cannabis, from another of me Global World companies (LGC) how lucky I am. “Ya make ya own luck in this business” said Christian as he hit the sell button on his Angus Energy Broker warrants. Run by me bestest buddy JT. (ANGS) “Too bloody true Blue” chimed in Ritzy as he asked Donny Strang was there any Director vacancies over at another of me World Leading ventures Afriag, (AFRI). Ritzy skidaddled from Lenigas Oil (LGO) which is as you know is “Floating on oil” , so he’s got some spare time on his ‘Mitts’ as another one of me World Gas/Oil plays SOLO has gone a bit quiet. I’m currently feeding the whole of the ‘Bloody’ African continent, cause lets face it these Africans need help sorting out their agriculture. There’s one thing I’m a world leading discoverer and expert on apart from Gold, Oil, Hotels, Gas, Diamonds, Tourism, Cannabis, Telecommunications, Airlines, Silver, Rare Earth Minerals, Gas Boilers, is Agriculture!
Why I recall sitting ’round the ‘Bush Telly’ having a few jars of ‘Grog’ wiv me Jermyn St ‘Soldiers’ cause me throat was as dry as ‘A Dead Dingos Donger’, when it hit me right on me ‘Bonce‘. I remember tending the garden digging ‘oles and planting daffodils at me offices 34 Parliament Place Western Perth Australia, (back in the days before the Aussie TV crews ABC1 showed up), how hard can it be? I can grow ‘Veggies’ and feed the Africans. Job done! Me being a shrinking violet, who doesn’t court the Fracking media, legged it from Aus’, quickly scarpered and pitched up in ‘Blighty’. I mean ‘Holy Dooley’ how lucky was me ‘Stone the crows’ I only come up with a real ‘Beaut’ and get involved wiv the World’s Leading Gas Boiler (INSP). It’s been the story of me fracking life I always seem to fall on me ‘Plates of meat’. That other ‘Sheila’ Madge will be installing one of me World changing boilers at Windsor Castle as soon as I get to have a ‘Yakity Yak’ with ‘HerMaj’ at the garden party…. Fracking hell I might even be able to get her on the board of one of me world global conglomerates..
‘Un‘Lucky‘ Barrrstard Brett Kebble…
Shy by nature. I was abandoned under Ayres rock when a ‘Nipper’. Managed to survive till the age of 3 by eating leftover ‘Tucker’ from a pack of Dingos until rescued and adopted by Aborigines from the ‘PumpyDumpy’ tribe. As a member of the PumpyDumpies I’m sworn under secret and tribal oath never ta speak about it on camera or within earshot of a microphone. I tried to teach this to a Pomme mate of mine Stevio from HorseyHill, sadly the lesson wasn’t learnt…. That’s the first ‘PumpyDumpy’ rule NO1. Learnt on me first ever walkabout in me ‘Budgie Smugglers’ with me fellow ‘Bonzer’ tribesman Pete Landau, Mick ‘many names’ Shemasian, John Stratton,Paul De Robillard and me dearly departed ex business partner the great Brett Kebble whose now sat at the left hand side of the Big Fellah up in the blue sky watching over his fellah tribal brothers. We’ve been Lucky Barstarrds…
Every time I ‘YakkityYaks’ with ‘Pommes’ I always need to explain how business in the Bush works, ya can’t run a company on ‘Bottletops’ believe me ya can’t run a ‘Facking’ Yacht moored in Monaco next to me Big House on them either. Neither can you buy properties in London, Aus’ and around the f**king world or stay at the Dorchester and fly 1st class stuffing ya gob with Ferro Roche as ya go to Cuba playing the ‘Didgeridoo’!! ‘Bottletops’ just don’t do it!
‘Many Names’ Mirhain Real ‘Lucky’ Barrrstard
Being a Global leading CEO philanthropist I only ever flog a few shares from me multitude of ‘Bonzer’ World Leading Global companies just to help the ‘Jackaroos’ get a few more, cause lets face it mate, I’m noooo.. ‘Jackaroo’ and me shares are like lottery tickets, every one of ’em is a winner. So it’s only ‘Fair Dinkum’ that I distribute the wealth amongst the ‘Numbskulls’ by flogging off a few ‘Scratchys’ , only a few mind! I never sell me ‘valuables’ into the liquidity that some unscrupulous ‘Crims’ create by telling ‘Whoppers’ on social media and the News at 10. No Siree…. David Liargas keeps his own fracking counsel. Not a fucking peep out of your’s truly!
I was only saying to me ‘Pomme’ mate Andy Dingaling that he should take a leaf out of me life ‘Jackanory’. “Refrain” I told the fellah.. “Tone it down, screeching like a ‘Sheila with a sore ‘Fanny Pack’ and a ‘Two pot screamer’ that there’s “Billions I tell ya Billions of Barrels of Oil In the Weald”. There’s plenty of howler monkeys out there on the BB’s, without you adding to the din!” Says I! I’ve had over 140 World Global leading companies notched on me belt. I’ve been blessed by God cause as we all know he’s an ‘Aussie’. “Big Dave” he said to me from behind the burning ‘Barbie’ as I was grilling a unicorn steak “You are the chosen one”. With that HE bowed down then give me a ‘Pasher’ on me left cheek. From that day on me luck changed. There’s one thing that really rips me up is that I’ve never got so much as a thimble full of gratitude from No10. That’s all about to change as the whisper is that there’s a life peerage in the ‘Crimbo’ honours list, ‘Lord Liealot’. Now keep that in ya ‘Bonces’ and don’t say a fracking word!
‘Rightio’ Lets get down to the latest ‘Jackanory’ all fracking true as sure as I’m breeding unicorns in Queensland…….
This is a real ‘Ripper’ and I aint talking Jack! A mate of mine was flying his chopper. Hang on stop there!! He’s not a mate I’ve never ever meet the ‘Bloke’ in a stretch of Sundays. Completely totally accidental, remember I was kissed by God and when ya blessed by HIM strange things are the norm.
Global World Leading ‘Lucky’ Barrrstard…
Jonny Campbell a total stranger to me, borrowed his mates chopper and was flying over Pilbara counting cattle, cause that’s what we Aussies do when we can’t sleep we fly out in our choppers and count cows! Any ways JonnyC just so happened to see some rocks with a few ‘oles in them so being a nosey fooker, like you would when you see rocks from thousands of feet in the air with ‘oles in em, he’s lands the chopper to go an’ take a look after all ‘oles in rocks who knows what could have been going on…… Would you Adam & Eve it, kicks a few rocks over and finds a fist full of gold nuggets! What a strike of luck! You couldn’t credit it!! How lucky was that? JohnnyC comes back, with is mates on their ‘Bikkies’ like ya would after finding the worlds biggest gold strike, and every weekend he and his mates bag $5,000-$20,000 dollars in gold nuggets! Furkkking strewthhhh! What a lucky barstarddd… That should have been me!
‘Teddy’ You ‘Lucky’ Barrrstard….
Well one weekend JonnyC and mates land the chopper at their Pilbara secret gold discovery in the middle of nowhere and just so happen to bump into ‘Teddy’ Mead my fooking geologist from Artemis Resources, how lucky was that? Where he spills his guts to ‘Ted’ and tells him the ‘Jackanory! Fucking jackpot…. ‘Cause believe it or not we’ve also got mining licences right next door with the same rocks!!!! Am I a lucky barrrssstaddd or what?!?! ‘Ted’ phones me on his ‘BushTuckerTelephone’ screaming “Goldrush!!! Pilbara!!!, Purdeys Gold!!! Jackpot!! Get the ‘Tinnies’ in!” Get the ‘Titties in’ I say? It was a bad line hundreds of miles from civilisation. I thought he was in a strip club!!! I couldn’t believe it!!! How lucky am I? This only gets better. Remember I was telling ya about me being rescued by Aborigines and adopted into the ‘PumpyDumpy’ tribe? One of me ‘PumpDumpy’ tribal brothers, Mick ‘many names’ Shemasian, who runs Novo Resources (‘Many Names’ was also a Karratha Gold Prospector in Pilbara many years ago) rings up on his ‘Moby’ one day……. I just so happen to mention that there’s a ‘Bloke’ that’s found tonnes of gold nuggets in Pilbara when Mick says “Ya farking joking Blue?We’ve got licences there too!!! “That’s incredible” I shouted down me ‘Moby’ to Mick, Who’d fooking believe it!!!! OUR two companies Novo & Artemis who were based (originally) out of 34 Parliament Place Western Perth Australia? And we’ve worked together gazillions of times with our other ‘PumpyDumpy’ tribal brothers, fooooooking unbelievable!!! Blow me down with a ‘Wombats Dick’. Aren’t we two lucky barrsttards!!! A fucking Goldrush!!!!!! Again!!!
Hand of a ‘Lucky’ Barrrstard…
Anyways….. we’ve now got a working agreement between OUR two ‘Doosey’ companies, cause us both being elders of the PumpyDumpy tribe are honour bound ta ‘elp each other. So we’ve bought JonnyC out!!!! Cause JonnyC needed the money to buy some ‘Bait’, so don’t try ta find him cause he’s now ‘Gone Fishing’…. Now me and Micky have gotta keeeep the lid on our Global World leading Goldrush so we won’t be going ’round with handfuls of watermelon shaped gold nuggets or letting anyone in on the tonnes of gold that we’ve got and we certainly won’t be tweeting any thing about it or using online media forums. So you fellahs reading this just keep it under ya hat… We don’t want any fookers buying shares and increasing the SP In both of our Global Leading Goldrush companies. It’s a secret………
Now there’s a Cautionary ‘Bloody’ tale I want to let the ‘Jackaroos‘ in on before I get back ta me twitter…. I was in the City of London a month or so ago. having a ‘Yakkity Yak’ with me Broker Mates from Optiva at me Jermyn St Offices, (‘Cause we don’t work out of 34 Parliament Place Western Perth Australia anymore) I was telling them about a reputable investment banker from Coutts, Her Madges Bank no less. We was having a ‘Yabber’ on investments…. This ‘Bloke’ keeps trying sell me dodgy shares in dodgy companies…. “I’ve got an absolutely superb dividend paying stock for you Mr Liargas” Pipes up the fully qualified FCA regulated geezer. “What is it?” Says me, as the hairs on the back of me neck started standing up.. A ‘Bush
JonnyC What a ‘Lucky’ Barrrstard!!!
Signal’ that something wasn’t right…. “EDF Energy, a French company, they’re paying an 11% dividend and their shares are expected to go up by at least 50% over the next 3/4 years”. Straight away me mind went back to a mate of mine, another one of me ‘PumpyDumpy’brothers, dearly departed Brett Kebble, who committed suicide by hiring some ‘Blokes’ to shoot him 7 times in the back of his nut! He told me, when we was on another ‘Walkabout’ of another one of our Global World leading companies, “Now listen ‘Davey Wavey’ (he says to me) in this world there are a lotta ‘Crims’ who’ll come ta ya telling ya ‘Tale Tales’ of riches beyond ya wildest dreams. Always check out their history ’cause 99.9% of ’em are only after ya cash so I have ta tell ya what the City of London police tell every victim of these scam shyster fookers. No matter what happens ta me Big Fellah “If it sounds too good to be true it usually is…”.
Gedday Cobbers…
David Liargas
MEET Johnathon Campbell — the accidental rock-kicker who inadvertently kick-started a gold rush.
The ex-FIFO worker and musterer, whose discovery of so-called “watermelon-seed” gold nuggets has sparked an unprecedented run on the ASX, has done the deal of a lifetime to sell his leases to Canadian miner Novo.
But the father of six said he would be “just as happy if I’d never found the f… thing”.
After yet another week of sky-rocketing junior gold stocks — De Grey up 27 per cent, Artemis 39 per cent and Kairos 30 per cent — Mr Campbell confirmed the deal included:
$250,000 cash (already paid)
450,000 Novo shares once the leases are granted — at today’s price equates to more than $3.6 million.
$1 million discovery bonus in Novo shares or cash if drilling results show 250,000 ounces of gold on site.
1 per cent a year royalty if the operation goes into production.
Toronto-listed Novo is in a joint venture with Artemis Resources whose biggest shareholders are the globe-trotting WA entrepreneur David Lenigas and Dubai-based Mick “Many Names” Shemesian, a wealthy investor and former Karratha prospector.
Mr Campbell, 41, first flew over the leases in a mate’s helicopter when they were counting cattle in a remote area south of Karratha. After spotting a humpy, they landed the chopper and eventually found some man-made holes in rock.
“Initially we thought someone was running from the police … we couldn’t think why someone else was out so far, even prospectors,” he told The Sunday Times.After teaming up through a Facebook page with a local man armed with metal detectors, he returned to the site and, “hard as it is to believe, we just turned the metal detector on and it was just all go”.
“I just went out there for a day and realised this place was stinking hot with rocks, we just kept going there every weekend … we’d go down there with the four-wheel motorbikes and go for it,” he said.
Mr Campbell said he and his partners took anything between $5000 and $20,000 off the leases on “any given weekend” over a couple of months.
He said he put down Special Prospecting Licenses, which allowed prospectors to work bigger tenements owned by companies who were not doing anything with them, and pegged as much land as he could around the area.
Mr Campbell said the red-ridged spinifex ground had been pegged by two bigger miners, one of whom was Fox Resources which was in the process of having to surrender its ground due to lack of exploration. He swooped on the Fox Resources leases when they became available.
A couple of months later, when he met Artemis geologist Ed Mead — again after putting down the chopper in the back blocks of the Pilbara — he told him there was plenty of gold on Artemis land as the ASX-listed junior had the adjacent leases.
“I don’t think he believed me. That changed when he had another look,” he said.
While he wouldn’t go into details, Mr Campbell said he and his partners fell out over who owned what when “greed came into it”. Under the threat of legal action, he discovered that he could lose his house if the other two decided to sue him.
Even now, after shaking hands with Novo’s chief executive Quinton Hennigh to hand over the licences, the pressure on him to do “side deals” with others continues.
“This is why I hate it … they all seem to think they can get something out of each other. It is like the biggest game of chess I’ve ever seen in my life … you sign this, and we’ll buy that. People are still offering me millions,” he said.
While technically the leases were still in his name until Native Title approval, he said he couldn’t wait until the deal was complete.
“Hand on heart, I would have been just as happy if I’d never found the f… thing,” he said.
“I just want to buy some bait and go fishing.”
There ‘s an attempted bookbuild underway here in the city of London. For those that don’t know what a ‘BookBuild’ is here’s the word that explains it PLACING! Yes folks the company in question is Angus Energy (LON: ANGS) and they’re currently trying to offload more CONfetti and are as you read this going round with the ‘placing’ begging bowl. That’s because they have no cash left and fook all in oil!
Liargas Sold out & WON’T be buying in the placing!
They’ve attempted to lure in the bucket-shops with 14p 12p shares unfortunately the £3,000,000 placing has not been taken up at those prices.. So we await to see if there’s any one daft enough to give more than 3p 4p for stock that’s worth 3p 4p on a good day. Sub 10p placing looks the most likely outcome.
You can get the popcorn in and watch all those fools, who’re still deluded and still flogging the ‘dead horse’, on the Alternative Investment Market listed piss poor company Angus Energy (You’ll know who they are) you can read the utter cock on the ‘rampers paradise isle’ of the Liargas HQ, London South East BB. They’re the ‘boyos’ who’ve been caught out telling lots of porkypies to the mug punters on the Lidsey ‘Gusher’ which I’ve now renamed the Lidsey ‘Gusset’.
Willy Vonky & the Big Mouth, Fat Aussie ‘Captain Ramptastic’ Mr David Anthony Lenigas or ‘Liargas’ for short, told and hinted and infered,leaked, presented, tweeted etc etc there’d be thousands of barrels of oil a day. Of course we all know that that was horse shit. You were all warned not to go against the British Geological Survey and indeed the UK Government O&G Portal website which contains all the facts and figures on Lidsey and Brockham. The scores on the doors are 40 bopd and declining.
Chalk yet another one up for ‘Yours Truly’ I did warn you all but hey if you’d rather try and ride the shite hot lightening all the way to the end of the Crock of shit rainbow then be my guest!
It’s with great guffaws of laughter that I pen this epistle to the United Kingdom Oil & Gas (LON: UKOG) & Angus Energy (LON: ANGS) Mug punters.
Fatso Liar
Today as foretold by yours truly we had the ‘super dooper’ news of a £10,000,000 death spiral placing as well as an update on the “Billions I tell Ya Billions of Barrels of Oil” weald basin fantasy perpetrated on the dumb and uneducated mug punters by David Lenigas not forgetting the likes of that other well known bullshitter and liar Andrew ‘Calamity’ Bell. Both sold up a long time ago while exhorting the mugs to pile in as it was ‘Billions I tell Ya Billions of Barrels of Oil’. Now let me educate the ‘Mugs’, if David Lenigas & Andrew Bell really believed their ridiculous claims they wouldn’t have sold would they? A simple statement of fact that is self evident.
The wheels have well and truly come off. After all the ramptastic David Lenigas lies the truth has finally landed at the erstwhile Broadford Bridge ‘Gusher’ and landed with a big bang! 370 barrels of completion fluids & a £10,000,000 Death Spiral Finance Placing. The last time I checked there was no market in ‘completion fluids’. And of course there will be no promotional video of them pouring CONpletion fluids into bottles! Aussie scumbag and liar extraordinaire, Captain Ramptastic (David Lenigas) has, as is his ‘Modus Operandi’, left the building. A burning building! Lenigas sold all his warrants and probably every single share, a quick check of Captain Ramptastic tweets and promotional videos should leave you in no doubt as to the duplicity of a man telling people there’s enough oil to keep the lights on in the United Kingdom for decades while he sells out his discounted stock and warrants into the liquidity orchestrated by his constant ramping. Of course you the mugs are left holding ‘Turkish Delight’.
Big Nose Liar
The Jermyn St Mob have once again played the mug retail punters for exactly what they are. Mugs! Incapable of reading a balance sheet and researching. When renowned Global Geologists, such as Professor David Smythe and The British Geological Survey tell you that the “Billions I tell Ya Billions of Barrels of Oil’ is a pipe dream that could never be extracted and even if fracked is not financially viable and politically disastrous then there’s only one way it can go. That is to it’s logical conclusion. Exposed as a piss poor bread and butter drill at best. Of course those that have foolishly chose to believe corporate scammers over world renowned geologists are even now posting such utter shite that they really shouldn’t be allowed out on the street without two men in white coats discreetly following them. However unpalatable the truth is you can always rely on this site and my good self to tell it.
The Truth Tellers!
We are all still waiting for the Anus energy, oops typo, Angus Energy RNS to the Mugs explaining just why their 10,000 1,200, 1,400 barrels of oil a day, two tankers leaving Lidsey for the next decade every day etc. Which they secretly briefed to their hoards of Mug Punters who’ve been tweeting and posting on such ‘illustrious’ BB’s as London South East hasn’t materialized.
The simple truth is that there’s no news because there’s major problems getting the oil to flow. If they could get it to flow they would have announced it like ‘Shit off a shovel’. The production from Lidsey is going to be piss poor and just like in their Xodus CPR the numbers are going to be a few hundred barrels at best which will quickly decline. Lidsey will end up shut in and worked over many times. Now I know this because I have researched it very thoroughly. As for the joke asset that is Brockham, do we really want to go there? It’s shite. There’s a placing coming at Angus that’s because they have no money to progress and any production isn’t going to cover their running costs let alone the cash to progress their share of the Holmwood drill or the PLC costs. I know this because I have read their balance sheet and unlike you, the Mugs, I can work it out. Which is why I am constantly right while the Mugs are constantly left holding Lenigas ‘Turkish Delight’.
Do yourself a favour and get in the real world and realise that once you escape the Lenigas Matrix of Lies & Deceits you’ll actually begin to lose a lot less and win a lot more.
It’s groundhog day every day at the piss poor Nostra Terra Oil & Gas (LON: NTOG). Todays expose is like all the rest a real shocker. So much so that I have emailed my research to their Nomad and the AIM Regulation team.
Quite simply where has 25,872,746 Magnolia Petroleum shares vanished too? MAGP shares are currently missing. Where are they? You can do the maths below. The simple fact is that there are MAGP shares unaccounted for. Maybe the shyster and shorting CEO and ex estate agent has forgot. It could be an ‘honest mistake guv’ or has he trousered them for himself or used them to pay off debts or maybe in the end of the long convoluted and disastrous deal that culminated in an embarrassing withdrawal of the Lofgran requisition letter, his shyster lying brain has imploded under the weight of telling so many lies? Who writes the RNS’s? Oh yes it’s Mr Ben drug dealing Turney! Not getting value for money there Matty! Some one has got some serious questions to answer. A full and frank clarification is needed here ASAP! We don’t want to hear that ‘David Blaine’ popped in to show you a few magic tricks either!
Missing MAGP shares. Where have they gone? Speak Up Scumbag!
Come on Lofgran speak up! Get out an RNS on what’s happened to 25,872,746 Magnolia Petroleum shares that you have failed to account for. How has your Nomad, Strand Hanson failed to pick up on this? Why was it signed off? I’m sure there’s a logical explanation. Pray do tell us all…..
Time line. On the 26th May 2017 NTOG supposedly bought 204,226,748 MAGP shares
On October 17 2017 an RNS Completion of Disposal of 152,000,000 dropped. Now you can all see the problem. There are 25,872,746 MAGP UNACCOUNTED for. The RNS makes it crystal clear NTOG has sold all it’s MAGP shares. But the numbers do not stack up. They are 25,872,747 shares light. Where have they gone?
